........

I've been thinking about why I gain weight a lot and I seem to be unhappy when I'm alone, which leads to emotional eating. I don't know that I want to be alone, maybe even scared to be alone. From the time I was 17-21 I always had a boyfriend and someone to please. Now that I've been single for 2 years it seems to be really hard to find what pleases me. I want to please others and I feel as though I can't be happy unless I have someone in my life who makes me happy.

I came to this realization last night when I was at the Craig Morgan concert at Cowboys. Country music really depresses me and makes me hate bein alone even more. I wanted to get so drunk and eat my feelings away last night after that. I was standing in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by couples who are slow dancing and groping each other and making out and I realize I have nobody and I'm def going home alone after that. It just made me sad and I wanted to leave.

I've been seeing this guy and I'm determined to make him want a girlfriend to prove to him I am "wifey material" because I am so into this guy and he's just a great guy. But after I was upset last night his best friend, who I'm also friends with, basically told me I'm wasting my time and energy on this guy because he doesn't want a girlfriend and that's how its going to be for a long time. So that just made matters worse.

Then I wanted to go workout today because my gym was suppose to open last Tuesday or Wednesday and they weren't opened yet so that has added to me being upset. Its that time of the month and I just feel like crawling in bed and staying there all weekend.

On the plus side, I lost 4.5 lbs last week, have been eating better, I finally start my job on Monday and I may be getting a car in 2 or 3 weeks which Im really excited about. Plus my birthday is in a few week and I really hope people show up this time. *crosses fingers*

Here's hoping next week is better than this week....

Im going Down, Down, Down, Down! LOL!

I lost 4.5 lbs this week sticking to my diet. Yay! Now when I encorporate exercise this week I should be losing more. Size 13 for my birthday is looking a lot closer than I thought before. So I should have a good weigh in next week too. I start my job, FINALLY!, Monday so that will stop me from sleeping all day and being lazy and my gym is on my way home so I'll be stopping by there on my way home and maybe soon I can even get enough motivation to go before work. But for now I think Im doing good to get there once. LOL!

Got a lil ways to go!

So I weighed this morning and I'm back at 205.5 but I'm sure I'll be back down in no time... 7 weeks to go til my Birthday!

I AM STILL ALIVE!!!

I've been gone for awhile and people have been asking about me.... Well I'm still alive and kickin'! I haven't felt very motivated to blog lately and have fallen off the wagon. I've been eating like crazy and gained a lot of weight back. But have no fear.... I HAVE A PLAN!

I am starting a new 7 week diet and exercise bootcamp as I am going to call it, because its going to be hard and painful I'm sure. I joined a gym that hasn't opened yet and I'm not sure the exact date its going to open but there is a park near my house where I can do bleacher runs and a trail to walk until the gym opens.

Its lasting 7 weeks because that's how long it is until my birthday and I need to get back on track so I can look awesome in my dress for my birthday.

My plan for 7 weeks:

NO BREAD
NO PASTA
NO CHEESE
NO SWEETS
NO SODA
NO SWEET TEA

LEAN MEATS
VEGGIES
FRUIT
LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER

EXERCISE:

GYM- 6 days a week
CARDIO 3x per week
STRENGTH TRAINING 5x per week

I'll be taking my vitamins but I know a lot of people will probably disagree with this regimine but this is what I need to do in order to eat better and stay on track after the 7 weeks is over. I will incorporate more foods after the 7 weeks but I want to be 30 pounds lighter by my birthday which is not realistic but it is possible if you workout all the time. Have you seen biggest loser? Its all about how much you have to lose vs. what you eat and how often you workout and push yourself. They lose 17 pounds in 1 week so I think if I push myself I can pull off 30 pounds in 7 weeks.

I am doing a 7 day cleanse this week to get on the right track. I will weigh in the morning and start from there.

I have been pigging out this weekend kind of as my LAST SUPPER because I know the next 7 weeks is going to be tough but I know I can do it. I am very motivated and can't wait to enjoy my birthday lookin all hot and sexy! Plus when I go see my grandma in the spring I want her to be super surprised and not notice who I am. LOL!

LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!

Bleh

I gained this week.... back at 202, story of my life. Don't really have much to say. Today is my cheat day and I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest!!

Until next time...

Stuck in the PITS!

I haven't blogged in a few days..... I just haven't been in the swing of things this week, guess you could call it an off week. I haven't been counting calories much this week. Well not the past few days anyway, the week started off good but kinda went down hill from there.

This whole no job thing is kinda getting me down and Im just getting really upset about it, plus its that time of the month so I'm craving sweets especially chocolate. I need to join a gym but with no job that is very hard bc I have NO MONEY. But today was better with calories and sodium...

Well I guess that's all for now, Ill update more if I feel better before weigh in day (Saturday).

{UPDATE}

Figured I'd come back and put in my calories for today since I did pretty good, I think.

Breakfast-
2 eggs scrambled with fat free cheese
1 Morning Star sausage patty
1 banana
8oz glass of milk

Cals- 452
Sodium- 787

Lunch-
Tuna Sandwich on 12 grain bread w/ mayo

Cals- 420
Sodium- 720

Snack-
Strawberry yogurt

Cals- 80
Sodium- 80

Dinner-
Beef & Broc. on Brown rice

Cals- 542
Sodium- 792

Snack-
Banana
Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding

Cals-178
Sodium- 111


Total Cals- 1564
Total Sodium- 2490

So I went over by 90 on my Sodium but I think I did pretty well and I stayed between my 1400-1600 cals for the day. So hopefully this will reflect my weigh in on Saturday.

Until next time...

Holy Toledo!!!!

OK so I had this idea to make my own pizza (Thanks Tammy) and as I was thinking what I should put on it I was very shocked that I wanted so many healthy things. So I decided I wanted pesto sauce instead of pizza sauce, thinking it may have less sodium. Chicken, fresh mushrooms, fresh spinach, black olives (only thing by the way that we bought in a can), and fat free mozzarella cheese. It is like heaven, I swear!

It was soooooo good I had to have 2 slices. I always forget to take the pics before we dig in. It smelled so good I couldn't wait to put it in my mouth! LOL! And Shane even loved it.

I ended up getting in a total of 6 (16.9 oz) bottles of water before I went to bed last night which makes me super happy. I took my vitamins this morning and actually woke up before noon which was surprising since I didn't go to bed til 2am. I think I woke up because I had a dream that I was running on the tredmill and tripped and ate it up and had tred burns on my face and arms and I just kept telling my mom to pull the cord (the cord that disables the tredmill in case you were wondering what cord?). And then I woke up and ate breafast and took my vitamins and then I was ready to go work out. HAHA!

So far my breakdown for today is as follows:

Breakfast- Ranch Eggs and 2 slices of turkey bacon {298cals}(615sodium)

Snack(pre workout)- banana {105cals}(1.18 sodium)

Workout-Walked on the tredmill .9 miles at 3.0 and ran the other .1 at 4.2. Which may not sound very good but you're talkin to someone who only runs when being chased by a killer or to run to a buffett. LOL. I sweat my butt off today and I was proud of myself. Then I did the eliptical for 5mins and kept my heart rate at 174. Did 50 crunches on the ball. To round it out did 10 leg raises, stretched and did a lil cool down walk at 1.5 for 10 minutes til Shane came to pick us up.

Snack(post workout)- an apple {65cals}(1sodium)

Lunch- Chicken Pesto Pizza w/ low fat mozzarella chees, mushrooms, black olives and spinach {524cals}(1284 sodium) only because I had to have 2 slices it was so good. LOL!

Dinner- Left overs- Creamy Chicken and Wild rice{358cals}(926sodium)
And I treated myself with a sweet tea with dinner.

Total cals-1350
Total sodium- 2827

So my sodium was a little over but my cals were under my lowest goal of 1600. I'll just drink more water tomorrow.

My water intake is great, nothin but water yesterday and today. I've had 4 bottles already today and still counting. I feel like I'm peeing myself to death though, LOL!

I'll update later... Until next time!

Weigh In day!!!

Ok so I weighed in this morning at 200.5 which is down (1) whole pound, I will take it considering how much sodium I have consumed in the past few days. I'm actually happy to be leaving 200-ville and going into Onederland, it kinda gives me the extra push to work harder just to get below 200 since I can actually say I am one pound away now!

So this whole sodium thing kinda makes me laugh. Well not sodium in general but my mom's take on sodium. Everytime my brother, Shane (her boyfriend), or myself go to put something in our mouth she say," Do you know how much sodium is in that!" I'm all for her consciousness of how much sodium she's consuming but it just makes me laugh when she says it. I wanna say, "No mom how much is in it?" since she says it like she knows exactly how much is in everything we touch. I am trying to cut back on my sodium this week and drink more water, those are 2 of my goals for this week.

I can't believe how cold it has gotten so quickly. We went out to eat last night and my mom is wearing her thin jacket that she's proudly wearing zipped up and Shane and I are wearing heavier jackets and freezing to death and she's like, "Is it really that cold?" I think her excitement about her jacket made her not think about how cold it actually was. LOL.

All joking aside, I am so proud of my mom though. She's lost almost 13 lbs and all her clothes are starting to fit again and she's working out all on her own and she's very conscious of everything she puts in her mouth whether she writes it down or not. She's very supportive of my weight loss goals even if I don't act like I care about what she tells me. Just wanted to give her a little shout and tell her how proud I am of her.

So onto my goals for this week...

1. Drink more water
2. Eat less Sodium
3. Lose 3lbs
4. Start taking my vitamins regularly
5. Walk 3 days

So hopefully those are 5 goals I can manage so until next time.....

{Edit}

This is my calorie count for today... I think as long as I stay between 1600- 1800 cals a day I'm good.

Breakfast- Waffle with peanut butter and a banana {460 cals}(sodium 460)

Snack- blueberry yogurt with granola {180 cals} (sodium 75)

Lunch- Chipotle BBQ Salmon (3oz.) with broccoli {355 cals}(sodium 375)

Snack- grapes and 100 cal popcorn {204 cals}(sodium 184)

Dinner- Creamy Chicken & Wild Rice {358 cals}(sodium 926)

Snack- Pumpkin Spice Nonfat Latte(Tall) {260 cals}(sodium 170)

Total Cals- 1817 /Total Sodium- 2190

A little over the cals but not too bad and def under my sodium count which is good. Had 4 (16.9oz) bottles of water and about to finish off another one. Hopefully this will help out my weight loss this week. Thanks loves.

Tuggin' on my tastebuds!!!

Im hoping that this good day, bad day thing is tricking my body and Im going to have a good weigh in because my body went into calorie shock or something. Lol!

Im letting my freedom from Walmart get to my head I do believe. Without even thinking I just pulled right into Chick-fil-a and order not 1 but 2 chicken biscuits and a large sweet tea. UGH! I ate it and didn't really feel bad about but I haven't been hungry at all since I at it so maybe it will save me some calories. LOL! I'll be guzzling down lots of water tonight to make sure those biscuits and fried chicken don't affect my weigh in tomorrow. So wish me luck on that.


I had an Oh Dear God breakfast I must say! Had I only had one biscuit I would've been ok but 2 sent me off the handle

2 chicken biscuits- 900 cals and 2620mg of sodium which is more than my daily allowance (eek!)
1 Lg Sweet Tea - 220 cals which is better than having soda I must say.
Rounding my BREAKFAST TOTAL -1120 so that's not very good!

I won't be eating anything else until dinner and I'll be drinking as much water as possible for the rest of the day. LOL!

So I'll let everyone in the morning know how the weigh in goes.... kinda nervous since I didn't do very good this week. So I'm crossing my fingers, toes, legs and arms hoping I can get all this sodium out of my body in time..

Until next time.

Pumpkin Spice Frappaccino- Oh My!!!!

Ok so today was a challenging day. Not so much food wise as choosing between quitting my job or staying with a job I dread getting up and going to everyday. I debated all day long and in the end I quit my job and lied to them about having found another job. I know it was wrong but there are ALOT of places hiring right now for seasonal help so I'm bound to get a job soon, right????


So I didn't do too bad today on calories actually and I even snuck in a tall pumpkin spice frappaccino in replace of a snack which was only 310 calories which is the same calories as my snack so I was excited about it. LOL!

Im doing better with my water today I got up to 3 (16.9oz) bottles of water and I'm working on my 4th as I type this blog and eat my dinner. ooooooo and I even worked out with my mom tonight as well. I couldn't believe it tired me out just walking for 15mins at 3 miles an hour and doing 5 mins on the elliptical, ooooo mmmmmm gggggg! I need to start doing that more often!

So here is my calorie break down for today.

Breakfast- Special K with 1 banana sliced on top (the oldschool way, lol) with 1/2 cup skim milk for 250 cals

Lunch- Ham & Swiss Cheese sandwich with mustard- 390 cals

Snack- Pumpkin Spice Frappaccino- 310 cals

Snack on my way to the gym- pretzels and a bottle of water- 170 cals

Dinner- Lean Cuisine- Parm. Crusted Fish with pasta- 290 cals

For a total of 1510 cals for the day. So I don't think I did too bad today. Yay me!

Why? Why? Why?

Ok so no matter how much I WANT to lose weight or eat right it's like that Weight Watcher's commercial with the little orange "Hunger" guy. I am tempted by everything and I wish that lil orange fuzzy guy would leave me the hell alone! I mean come on give me a break, cut me some slack. Why can't healthy food be appealing and delicious just like the crappy junk I love so much. So I gave in instead of depriving myself and went to Taco Bell and got the Black Jack Taco Box... so instead of getting one freaking taco I got 2 tacos and a burrito supreme and a Dr. Pepper. OMG!!!!! What is wrong with me? Not to mention I hate working out. I would rather be entertained by watching other people work out, like my mom for instance- I'd rather watch her work out and throw her iPhone across the room and get a good laugh than to workout and benefit from it. Im going to look up the exact calorie amount for that meal and post it to see just how horrible my day was, granted that is all I have eaten today but it seems the more crap I eat the more crap I crave. I am soooooo happy to be at 201 finally but I feel like I'm at the edge of letting all this slip away from me and to just spiral downward again would be like admitting defeat!

So here is the breakdown of my 1 meal I had today.....
*Calorie* Fat* Cholest* Sodium *Carbs *Dietary Fiber*
Sugar* Protein *

Black Jack Taco- 210 17 35 430 6 2 1 8

Burrito Sup.- 400 15 35 1350 51 8 4 16

Hard Taco -170 10 30 330 12 3 1 8

Cinnamon Twist- 170 7 0 200 26 1 10 1

Dr. Pepper- 400 0 0 140 108 0 108 0

Totals- 1350 49 100 2450 203 14 124 33



So for one meal this is very very bad! I guess if I eat some yogurt, string cheese, and maybe some granola or fruit I'd be within my calorie range for the day. But why is it so easy to eat this many cals in ONE, ONE freakin meal but when you sit and count your calories you can hardly break 12oo and you end up being full and not wanting to even finish up your alotted calories for the day? This is insane!!!!!! I don't feel guilty for eating it but I feel kinda angry that I ate it and I am definately sure this is why I can never make it below 200 lbs. I work in the center of food and I'm smelling it all day long. I work at Walmart and there is a Subway in there and you can always smell them making bread or over in the bakery you can smell them making donuts and cookies and cakes all day long, its the most horrible pain ever!!! Who wants to carry a lunch box around with you unless you sit at a desk all day? It looks retarded carrying your lunchbox around when there is so much yummy food around you all day! Bleh!

So I guess tomorrow is a new day and I can start fresh but today was definately NOT a good day! But i have this mentality that if you're going to mess up your day why not finish it off even more so than I have already.... LOL! I am being possessed by "Hunger" the lil orange guy. I really feel like that too, he always comes around when I'm bored or just really want something sweet. Its soooo not fair! GO AWAY HUNGER!!!!


And then mom called and we're going to Moe's for dinner! Yum but Oh No all at the same time! LOL.....Oh my what a calorie filled day!

Until next time!

YOUTUBE!

So I added my YouTube Channael in the Video Bar to the side. I haven't done any recent updates but if you'd like to follow me on YouTube then that would be awesome. Didn't really do anything today besides be lazy and hang out with the Bestie and call around a few places for jobs.

I have a job and I am very greatful for that job but a lot of things have been going on at my job and with coming under new management, their expectations have been very unrealistic for one person to accomplish and its stressing me out majorly. Therefore I'm looking for a new job. If anyone knows of anywhere that is hiring please feel free to let me know.

Well I guess this blog is not really about weight loss bc I am talking about my job but oh well, LOL!

So today I didn't eat much at all. I had Chicken and rice casserole for lunch and nothing for dinner yet and its already 7pm, eeeekk! Well probably should go fix something before it gets too late. Im probably going to weigh more than once a week bc I'm a scale addict and weigh like everyday but if I get below 200 before I weight on Sat then I will def be updating everyone!


Enjoy your week even though its kinda nasty out there. Yuck!

- Kandice

Cal Count for 10/11/09

Breakfast- Frosted mini wheats with skim milk (230cals)

Lunch- Turkey Dog roll up with american cheese(350cals) and a Fiber One strwbry yogurt (50cals)

Dinner- Healthy Choice Chicken Parm (350cals)

Snack- Fiber One yogurt (50cals) and 1 cup grapes (110cals)

Total cals = 1140

So Im 60 cals short but I prob had those extra cals in the sweet tea I've been drinking. Water isn't really my thing but I'm trying to drink more of it. So Im doing 1200 cals bc its hard for me to even get that many in unless I eat fast food then I eat like million. But anyways I think I did pretty good today. Thanks for reading!

More like day 10!

Ok so I guess I didn't explain very much in my first post. Lol. Ok so I've been trying to lose weight for about a month I said but I actually just started eating right and consider my first day, Oct. 1!

My birthday is January 2 and I want to lose weight so that I don't have cottage cheese legs when I wear my cute dress and heels. My dress by the way is a size 13/14 and I haven't been that size since I was a sophmore in highschool, so Im super excited. I got it for $7 which Im really happy about, only thing wrong is it has a broken zipper- nothing too big to fix. I bought this dress because I want it to have to be taken in when I take it to get the zipper fixed. If I can make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas without gaining weight then I will be A-O-K!

So there is my dress and I hope to be looking slim and trim very soon. I also have a youtube channel that I do my weightloss vlogs on if anyone is interested in that. But I will weigh in next Saturday and hopefully I will be in the 190's! Good luck to everyone on their weight loss journey!

Finally almost to 200!

So I am finally at 201.5, after much stress and trouble getting there. I've been trying for about a month now to get down to 200. I started at 206.5, so I'm down 5 pounds in a month. They say slow progression is better because you're more likely to keep it off but I hate the wait. I wish there was a magical pill you could take that would shrink, tighten and tuck all the parts you didn't like or wanted to get rid of, but unfortunately there's not.

So I havent been losing weight the healthy way, its mainly been stress and eating one meal a day with no exercise but I will get into it soon as soon as everything passes and my life gets back on track. So I guess that's all for now, just wanted to say how excited I am to see the 200's almost vanish! YAY!